Wedding Jitters

Life
WEDDING JITTERS

NOT REALLY A BAD THING

Definition of my “Jitters”

We enter the situation with the idea that jitters are bad, but I’d like to feud with those that believe that to be. My wedding jitters stem from anticipation, excitement, hope, joy, and love. True there are aspects that stress me out, but those are so insignificant in the face of the prospects of an eternal future with the woman that I love.

Reasons of Hope

I am grateful to the in-laws for taking so much of the brunt of planning and preparing this wedding for Vanessa and I, they deserve far more credit than I can state and I’d rather not sing their accolades at the present. There are so many moving parts in the preparation of a wedding, and synchronizing these things is a talent in and of itself. I am glad that there is such a wealth of experience and advice from those that surround us that they offer so freely, even when we don’t always wish to hear so. There is never anything so spectacular as the nature and character of selfishness being put aside when others begin to aid you.

Luke 10:25-37

25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?

26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?

27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.

28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.

29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?

30 And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.

31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

32 And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.

33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,

34 And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.

36 Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

37 And he said, He that shewed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.

There are so many wonders and adventures before us, and I do not mean that this wedding was an evil that befell us, but it is a burden nonetheless. This burden that so often these us drained and helpless, knowing that we alone would never muster the strength to achieve the beautiful outcome we so desire. There are adversities and trials in everyday life, things that would crush each of us, but as the Lord and Savior taught, we are to lift one another’s burdens and help those around us in pure Christlike love.

Beyond the struggles ahead lies the repose of knowing that we are not alone, that there are others that will give us their strength as our fails, as our frailties become ever more apparent we are endowed with the manifestation of the power of God through those that love us. There is no greater reason to hope than to know that God is there for us, and He sends His ministering angels when we are in need.

Don’t Think It Is Cheesy

Sometimes we get weighed down thinking that the goodness of people is their own doing, and maybe it is, but what does the goodness merit? The goodness is the righteousness of the people and it glorifies the Father. Testimonies may be lost, faith may be unsure, but there is nobody that can take away the creations of God. God created righteousness, love, and goodness so that we might know Him. As we do good, even the most Lilliputian of things, we glorify all that He epitomizes.

Priesthood Definitions

Robert’s Journal Entry

September 18, 2015

Hello World,

First, isn’t today wonderful?! Also…

I am starting to explore different formats and fun ways to try and present my writings, so bare with me as I do so.

I started college, a few years later than most, but with a conviction that I will find a path for me. I am doing it through the wonderful program offered through Brigham Young University - Idaho called “Pathway.” It offers students a unique way of learning through an independent study program, but working in tandem with missionaries and instructors to allow you to stay focused and successful. Anywhosit, the purpose of my class is to learn, obviously, but it is through exploring my thoughts through journaling and questioning the things that I observe, hear, and learn in the program.

Yesterday, our wonderful missionaries asked me if I could define three key things in correlation with the Priesthood: Priesthood Keys, Priesthood Power, and Priesthood Authority. I will now try to do so in my own words, this is before I have looked anything up and is solely based on what I have already learned and encountered in the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Priesthood Keys - To me, these seem to be directly related to task, ordinances, and actions that we must fulfil here on earth. These keys represent the dominion entrusted us by Heavenly Father. It is given to the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to hold the keys of this dispensation, and he is then tasked with the delegation of these keys to local authorities so the aforementioned tasks, ordinances, and actions of building up the kingdom of God are administered.

Priesthood Power - This signifies the endowment of ability and talents to fulfil the work of God. This power is given to both men and women. We know that it is by priesthood power that the world was created, and clearly it is a power granted unto men to continue in the stewardship of multiplying and replenishing the earth for example. However, there are specific powers that are meant to be maintained in their sacredness by living worthily and righteously. Childbearing is the greatest of these examples. It is a power extended to all men, but not all men do it with the divine sanction of Heavenly Father. Power comes from obedience. The priesthood power is the obedience to God’s commandments and being instruments in the fulfilling of our responsibilities.

Priesthood Authority - This is related to the responsibility given to each of us to fulfill duties. A missionary is given the authority to teach and testify with power by their Stake President and Mission President, but this lacks the power behind it if the missionary chooses to not live worthily and obediently. Authority is the responsibility, this is middleground between power and keys because it is this authority that represents the specific task that you are instructed to accomplish. Hometeachers are given the authority to teach those under their stewardship, Bishops and Stake Presidents the same. The authority means that the proper key has been given to you, and now you strive to obtain the power to implement and achieve the desired results in the kingdom of God.

I am sure that I will gain a better understanding of these principles as I go on in life and more fully utilize each of them, but for now that is the basic knowledge that I can express. I feel that there is always something out there to learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, but it also seems to me that there is a large essence that is strictly personal. Behind the clear light of God’s love for each of us is a relationship that words will never capture and cannot be expressed to this mortal shelf.

I have been an instrument in the Lord’s hands before, I have been mended by other tools in His hands, I have been loved, I have loved, still nothing can say it better than:

16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.

18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

19 We love him, because he first loved us. (1 John 4)

Lots of love,

Robert

My Life: Mucky and Mired

My Life: Mucky and Mired
Robert Haggard

Here is what should have been said yesterday, a day that in time fades, but at present is pertinent to life. Yesterday, one of the greatest and woefully dreaded days, marked one year since being back from my mission. Time has been kindly cruel and cruelly kind to me over the past year. Joy, bitterness, discovery, loss, glee, sorrow, hopeful, despairing, jovial, miserable, monumental, minuscule, and before draining the dictionary, it has been fantastic! Inevitably the day would dawn where life continued past the point of imagining, where the prospect of infinite dawns is now shadowed by yet another span of eternal mystery before us. Yesterday was a marker of something unimaginable upon my departure, and yet as of today it was just another day. A seemingless unimportant day in the week, a Wednesday, the middle of someone else’s work week, someone’s birth, someone’s death, someone’s crisis, someone’s happiness, a beginning, an end, and for me, it was my monument.

Iconically it stood as the epitome of accomplishment, that I had served the Lord, that I had made it this far and had put my shoulder to the wheel. Dismally it marked the path of what was behind and made the journey look difficult and long ahead.  Once more, it was just another day. I worked, I played, I stressed, I loved, I overcame, I submitted, and I once again made it through to the next day, today. Despite all the troubles that befell me during my mission, despite the sewers of the world that figuratively and literally I must wade through, I stand here once more. I stand on the precipice of another day, another life, another eternity, another beautiful testament to my Heavenly Father’s love for me. All of this because I have pressed on.

The MTC taught me a few things, or more than a few as the roots rested firmly in the soil of my soul and mind, but it taught me an inside joke as well in the Referral Center of new missionaries as they are being dropped off into the wild world of the Missionary Training Center, the joke, “Day One.” A marvelous sight beheld by us veteran as the new missionaries embark on an adventure around the world, but for some odd reason, they are lost in the few acres that reside in Provo, Utah. All the mysteries, awe, excitement, faith, and miracles that await them around the world marred by the fear that encompasses them in those first long hours.

A pillow soaked in tears for the loss of home and family, eyes affrighted when you know not where the bookstore is, and minds bewildered when the languages of the world collide about you. So, once more, “Day One” was something I had learned, experienced, mocked, and embraced, but it was never something I imagined would happen again on September 16th, 2014 as I left the terminal in Los Angeles. There before me was the world, a whole new world, a new fantastic point of view. Fear seized my soul, terror shrank my heart, and I set out to find out who Robert would be this time around.

You see, the funny thing about it all is that I would never have imagined the joy and love that would soon fill my life. I had returned to a place that I would never have dreamt of being home to me, back to the filth that had always been my dread. Anger, hostility, irreverence, disdain, ignorance, and discontent accompanied by the profane rants that echoed the corridors. A spiritual high, the land of bountiful as my mission was, to the land of desolation as my new home was to be. Now I was to remain along the edges of the tranquil moments to transcend the mortal buffetings to once again commune with my Father whom I so longed to receive counsel and direction from.

I began to write a book, one that would emphasize the plan of happiness that Father created for us all. I explored the depths of my understanding to figure out the purpose of life, the meaning to our being placed upon the earth, the requisites to achieve the eternal destiny promised each of us, and where I was to trek next in this temporal sphere. I made some progress, but the tempests and whirlwinds of life distracted me from accomplishing that book. One of my goals in life is to write and publish a book, a book that is my testimony of the living word of God, and allow others to know why I believe. It saddens me to know that I haven’t finished that book, but it also helps me realize that a book has an ending, perhaps now isn’t the best of times to place my testimony as a “finished work.”

I fell in love. I met the girl of my dreams, and the girl I continue to dream about day in and day out. My soul was coupled with one so sweet and tender that I decided to marry her, and I will be marrying her for time and all eternity October 3rd. She sustains me, she uplifts my spirit, and she is one that I will strive to be worthy of and to love endlessly. There is a longer story of pursuit of that love, but she tells it a bit differently than I. She encourages and uplifts those around, she testifies through word and deed, she expresses love for Heavenly Father in ways that would astound you. I am lucky to be her companion throughout the obstacles and hurdles that so often befall us here on earth.

So you see, in the year since I have been home I have learned one simple principle that I will continue to teach others, obedience to our Father brings us joy and hope. I have had many moons to regret any disobedience on my mission, an even greater amount to regret any disobedience in youth, and now I am collecting my moons to testify that as you listen to God’s voice you will become perfect. You will taste of Christ’s perfect love for each of us. You will gain an appreciation of the everlasting and infinite atonement wrought by our Savior. You will understand that He lives, that Jesus is the Christ, and that there is ALWAYS a brighter and better day ahead.

With all of my heart I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is the only path on which we can stride to return to the presence of Heavenly Father. With open arms our Father awaits us, tearfully and joyfully the obedient will inherit the long awaited reunion, and we will become joint-heirs with Christ.

The title of this post is “My Life: Mucky and Mired” which is misleading. My life, the beautiful and precious gift that it is, is one that will be washed and cleaned if I continue to love the Lord through my actions, thoughts, and desires. Obedience isn’t solely avoiding the bad, it is striving to do the good in the face of enormous opposition. The world would bind us and lie to us, but know that God would lead you in light and love until the day we overcome.